If you knew me in high school, I was pretty shy. I was a “nice guy”, right? I never got bullied, never got in a fight, never got into trouble. Not even once.
A classic grade-grubbing goody two shoes- I quietly played the game called school: studying, taking tests, getting As, receiving praise. Even got a certificate for my perfect attendance.
With comb-over hair (right to left) and cardigan sweaters, whew!, no wonder I had so much time to study.
When I was in elementary school, I only got blue slips, not yellow. I never got my name written on the board except once in fifth grade by Mrs. Kruthoff during Spelling. After class, holding back the tears, I told her the reason I was talking was because I was helping Jamie Weinbauer.
And then she erased it. I forgive her and Jamie Weinbauer.
In fourth grade, Mrs. Paulson’s class, I cried when I got like five wrong on a spelling test. Wasn’t going to let that happen again!
Failure.
My mom says that when I was in kindergarten, I’d let the other kids cut in front of me in line for the slide.
I still do.
Freshman year in college I dealt with some depression. I was lonely. Got counseling.
The one time I did express an interest in a girl in my dorm, I left a single rose in front of her door and it scared the living shit out of her. So now on top of being depressed, I was a stalker. Real nice move, prince charming.
I spent the majority of my twenties and early thirties single. I thought someday the girl of my dreams would fall from the sky and land on my lap like the romantic comedies in the 90s. Julia Roberts would walk into my bookstore or I’d be at the Empire State Building at just the right moment for Meg Ryan to show up. Happily-ever-after.
I was a born introvert. End of story.
I went to the same school as Sarah Menzel since kindergarten and never had the guts to ask her out once. She was out of my league.
There were times growing up when I came out of my shell, but ‘introvert’ never stopped from being my default mode.
Now I’m 37. After last weekend, I realize that practically nothing has changed since fourth grade. I’ve been telling myself the same stories. She’s out of my league. I’m not good enough. I don’t have the skills or background to start my own business. I’m not smart enough. I don’t have enough talent. I’m too old to start now. I don’t have what it takes.
I’m 37 and have been telling myself the same bullshit stories again, and again, and again. And I’ve been unconciously making decisions my entire life based on one thing.
Fear.
The fear of rejection, the fear of disappointing the people I love, the fear that I’m not enough, the fear that I won’t be loved.
That is, until I met Tony.
I didn’t actually meet him in person, probably never will, though I feel like I know him. I was inside the Prudential Center with 14,000 other people: millionaires, CEOS, business owners, celebrities, people from 70 different countries and the one man on stage that everyone had come to see. When 13,999 people from 70 different countries were raising their hands when Tony asked “Who has experienced this in your life?”, I learned that there’s nothing special about how I feel or what goes on in my monkey mind. There are patterns in human thinking.
All human beings experience the same two primary fears in life.
- We’re not good enough.
- We won’t be loved.
After going to Unleash the Power Within, I have an unfair advantage in life after having the chance to learn from the man himself, Tony Robbins. It was freakin’ awesome.
One of the best decisions I ever made.
What are your bullshit stories? What’s stopping you from moving forward?
You could take a minute to write yours down. We all have them. Tony calls them our limiting beliefs.
Here’s some advice.
Go. Do it. Unleash.
My guess is that most people go through their whole lives and never learn how to live the life they desire. Fear is in control. Most people settle in at least one area of their lives. Do you agree? Most people give up on their dreams. We choose comfort over extraordinary.
But does that mean you have to?
I’m no expert, but I know this guy. He’s kind of like a real life Yoda, except that he’s 6’7’’- wears size 16 Nike shoes- and has big teeth.
After four days at Unleash the Power Within, I’m still a “nice guy”, still have the same fears of rejection…
But now I freaking rock!!!
Full Disclosure: I do not receive any commission or any kind of compensation whatsoever for referrals to Tony Robbins events. This is my honest opinion.
P.S. Dear Tony, you may never read this, but just in case, I want to say thank you. For me, coming to Unleash The Power Within was grace.
Have you harnessed your fears? Leave your comments or questions below.
Sunny says
Matt, so grateful for the grace that led me to your page today! Beautiful story. Beautiful vulnerability. Beautiful courage. Loved reading this post. It flowed straight into my heart! Thank you for this post today dear friend.
Karina says
Nice post, nice read, nice content! Loved it! All what you have written is so touching. We have all experienced the same feelings in one way or another.
Keep unleashing your power Matt!!!
Thanks for sharing your story!:)
Looking forward to seeing you in Tokyo !!
Vincent says
Thank you so much, Karina! This post and experience was a huge deal to me so thank you for your compliments and reading it! I can't wait to see you twooooo! ! ! Asobi ni kite ne! You can meet the new me.
Ciara says
Matt! Thanks for sharing this. It reminded me of a TED talk you may have seen about vulnerability (and its importance for human connection.) It's with Dr. Brenné Brown. Can't wait to hear more about your summer!
Vincent says
I still think that's my favorite TED talk. I'm sure I've watched it more than 20 times. She's hilarious. Want to read her books.
Bianca says
Congratulations for taking this first step into living life on yoir terms! Great article!
As Tony says, "this is just the beginning" and the growing never ends.
As a relationship startegist tranined by RMT Center, I would love to speak and get to know your relationship goals!
Warren Sander says
YOU! FREAKING! ROCK! BADASS!
Vincent says
Thanks, Warren! I know. Haha! You freaking rock!! Brings me back. Ahhh, I loved it.
Valérie says
Thank you for sharing, beautiful story!! I can totaly relate. Say yes!!!
Vincent says
Thank you, Valerie! That was exactly what I needed to hear today. 🙂 Say yes. Step up!- Thanks for reminding me! !
Andrea says
This is great; love to share this . Btw go find Sarah !!
Vincent says
Thank you, Andrea! I messaged her to ask her if I could use her name. She's married and has like 3 kids now. Haha!
Nicky says
Love it! I was there w you bro!. Well done
Vincent says
Thanks so much, Nicky!
Jesse says
I too attending UPW New York, I was skeptical at best about what was to happen at UPW. I went in with a completely open mind, so my usually reserved self that even if it made my uncomfortable, I would dance my ass off in public, act like a complete fool, and try to absorb everything I could. There were moments (like when the short bald guy was talking on day two) that I wasn't entirely bought in, but I walked away from UPW with an appreciation of myself, appreciation of all those around me that gave everything they had for 3 to 4 days. I learned that I am only as good as the things I allow myself to do and I am limited by the things I prevent myself from doing. I certainly believe in my heart of hearts, that I am a better person for going, embracing change and unleashing the power within myself.....I....FREAKING.....ROCK! Great article.
Vincent says
Thanks, Jesse! ! I agree with you- there were a few times when I felt skeptical too when other speakers were on stage. Would I go again? Yes, in a heartbeat. Will I go again? Yes. Take care, Jesse. Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog and share your experience. YOU freaking rock!
Liat says
Matt, you are amazingly courageous!!! I wish you lots of LIVE and HAPPINESS in your life!
BTW-there is a book in Israel which is recently making waves and it's all about "blocking beliefs". I got it as a present from my mom and I found that it really is helping me, and I'm sure it's helping hundreds of other ppl. Best of luck dear Matt ❤️
Vincent says
Thank you so much, Liat! It means so much that you read my blog and take the time to write something. I wish you the same! ! Becoming aware of my limiting beliefs was a huge learning for me. Now I'm throwing them out of my way and going for it! !
Thank you for your thoughtfulness. 🙂